Tuesday, January 19, 2010

January 19

Best part of the day: This is going to sound weird but I spent about half an hour with my assistant principal and it was nice. We chatted about books and working out/dieting and it was nice to talk to an adult.

Also when I got to my Mom's house, Maggie was still asleep. I went in the room without waking her and was able to watch her sleep for a couple of minutes. She was so peaceful and sweet. She woke up but didn't move and didn't realize I was there for a couple of minutes. When she finally looked up she seemed happy to see me. . . and very tired. Poor baby, she didn't even make it to her bed time before she was out.

Worst part of the day: My aide, Lynette, is having a hard time. Her douche bag ex stood up their kids. Again. She had a negative pregnancy test and our principal was giving her a hard time about nothing important (hence why I was talking with the ASSISTANT principal). I felt really bad for her.

She was with her ex for 11 years and since they split up he has become a complete loser. He doesn't pay child support (and when he does, he always asks to borrow money), doesn't see their kids, doesn't call on special occasions. It's awful. As a mother, I can't imagine watching my kids get hurt like that.

Luckily she's married to a great guy now who loves the kids but still I know it's a difficult situation.

Maggie moment: She is quite the walker. She walks all over the place with much less stumbling. She's even agile enough to bounce up and down when she wants something.

She loves pointing pictures and trying to tell me what they are. It's quite cute. Most of it I can't understand but sometimes I'll hear puppy or flowers. It's amazing how fast they grow up. I know she's still a baby but just barely. She's walking and talking and requesting (Eat?).

Gratitude: I'm so grateful that despite being tired and feeling lazy I worked out today. I may not have given it my all (or my half) but dammit, I did it!

Monday, January 18, 2010

January 18

Best part of the day: Today felt like a perfect day. It felt like the best case scenario for if I can ever be a stay at home mom. I spent all day with Maggie, got stuff done while she napped and had fun doing it all. We cuddled and read books and played. It was so wonderful.

Worst part of the day: During Maggie's nap I was really scared that she was dead. I don't know why or where that came from but I couldn't get it out of my head. After almost an hour of freaking out I broke my rule and went in and checked on her. She, of course, was fine and, luckily, I didn't bother her.

Maggie moment: She keeps asking Book? She'll bring a book over and put her arms up. Then she'll sit nicely in my lap while I read a book to her. Occasionally she'll inform me what the picture is (bunny!) but other than that she just looks and listens.

Gratitude: Today. This has been such a great day. I met all of my goals for the day. I worked out. And most importantly I spent the day with my sweetest little princess. What more can you ask for?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

January 17

Best part of the day: Definitely Maggie. We had so much fun today. I didn't feel so hot but she was so sweet and fun.

I worked out which helped me to feel a whole lot better.

Worst part of the day: Waking up at 5 am to throw up. Yeah, it doesn't get much worse than that (well actually yes it does but not for my day). Last night I had Chinese food and 3 glasses of wine and I guess that was too much. What really sucked was that by 5am I was stone cold sober. Throwing up isn't so bad when you're drunk but when you are sober, it's no fun.

Maggie moment: When Maggie woke up I brought her into bed with R and me. She was laughing and playing and R gave her his phone to play with. At one point she took the phone and put it up to her ear and said Hewoh? That's the first time she's ever played pretend. It was so cute. She is so precious and sweet.

Gratitude: I know I say this a lot but I am so grateful for my daughter. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm also grateful I worked out. Pre-pregnancy weight, here I come.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

January 16

Best part of my day: Well I got a lot done. I now need reading glasses so I got to pick out my new frames.

I got to spend a ton of time with R and Maggie, which is always so nice. Plus R and I will be starting our at-home date night soon.

I worked out and got to take a nap.

Worst part of my day: While I was at the grocery store, there was a man there with his son and daughter. He was so mean to his son. It was awful. I didn't really hear what he said but I could hear his tone and it was condescending and mean. The kid was having trouble tying his shoes and his Dad bent down to do it and told the kid he should know how to do this by now and watch because he's sick of doing it. It was awful. I really hope I never have such a hard, bad day that I would talk to Maggie like that.

Maggie moment: She spent a lot of time with R today since he's been out town for almost 2 weeks between work and his father's accident. Listening to her laugh and play with him is so sweet.

Also she has started to be more interested in reading books and will ask, "Book?" I am so happy to oblige her.

Gratitude: That my eyes are mostly healthy and I only need glasses for reading. That I get to wear cute frames and help myself out.

That R is such a kind, gentle father to Maggie.

Maggie, always Maggie. My sweet baby.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

January 13

Best part of the day: Watching Maggie play. With me. With the dog. It's great watching her run around and be silly. She has all these little games she plays now and it's so much fun to watch.

Worst part of the day: Getting out of bed. I was so freaking tired. But on the bright side, things could only get better.

Maggie moment: I love all of her words. Eat, all done, nap, pee-u (whenever you change her diaper), meow (when she sees a cat), Mama, Daddy, Nana. Saturday she even said Aunt Elaine, quite a mouthful. She's growing up before my eyes. Where is the pause button?

Gratitude: My daughter, always my baby girl.

That Elaine's lady stuff is going well.

That my kids won't be at school on Friday!

That I can go to bed soon.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

January 12

Best part of the day: My time with Maggie. It's so great to have her home. I have missed her like crazy. With my Mom/nanny out of town she's had to stay with my Dad a lot. It's been really hard not having her here with me. My stepmom told me that Sunday night/Monday day she kept asking, "Mama?" over and over. That hurts. My poor little baby. But she's home now and it's so much nicer.

Worst part of the day: I can't really think of anything. Maybe my workout, that was hard. But still working out is good so. . .

Maggie moment: We have this little game we play where she'll make some random sound like um and I'll mimic her. She thinks it's so funny and will give me these excited looks before she makes the sound again and as soon as she does, I'll repeat it back. It's silly but so, so sweet.

Gratitude: That my baby girl is home. Being separated sucks.

That's R's father is getting better. Things seem better by the day. Already he is discussing going to back to racing once he heals. The trick will be slowing him down so he can actually do that.

That my Mom is back. Because she can keep Maggie and because I like her alright.

Monday, January 11, 2010

When it rains,

it freaking pours.

My GG passed away late Wednesday night. My sister, brother-in-law and I drove down there, helped with all the funeral arrangements and spent time with family. It's still so shocking and unreal to me. But I think that's a whole 'nother post.

R and Maggie came for the funeral on Saturday afternoon. After the funeral our whole family had dinner and then we headed home. We got home about 11pm. I put Maya straight in bed (she slept almost the whole ride and didn't really wake up when I moved her). And then I went to bed.

R stayed up to watch his Dad's races. His Dad is a harness driver, which is basically a chariot race. It's really popular in the Northeast, where he used to race. He now races in California. As R was watching one of the races he got to watch his Dad get in a horrible accident.

His Dad, R Sr., got clipped by another driver causing them to collide and his horse fell on him. Twice. Usually when there is an accident, the remaining drivers continue the race but the announcer stopped the race and called for an ambulance because the second time the horse fell on R Sr. he didn't move.

R couldn't get a hold of anyone. He called every hospital in Sacramento. He called the track. Finally as a last ditch effort he sent an email to the announcer. And he called him. The announcer told R it was the worst accident he'd seen in 20 years. So R bought a ticket to California.

R Sr. broke every bone in his face except his eye bones and his jaw and teeth. Air was forced up his sinuses into his brain, which apparently is really bad. He broke his arm clean through. So badly, in fact, that they can't do surgery, just put it in a sling and hope it heals well. He's already had surgery on his face. It's so swollen he can't see or hear out of one ear. He's also pretty sure this is the end of his racing career. He's 49 and this is the only thing he has ever done.

Today I went back to work. I take my lunch in the classroom while my aide takes our students to the cafeteria to eat. I was enjoying my lunch and blogs when she came bursting in the room, obviously crying.

She had just gotten a call that her husband had collapsed and wasn't breathing. He was being rushed to the hospital.

Luckily, he is doing much, much better. The doctors thought he was having a heart attack but it turns out it was a horrible reaction from mixing a prescription cold medicine with an over-the-counter sinus medicine. I never believed stuff like that happened.

So that's my last few days. The new year is kicking my ass.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

January 6

Best part of the day: Spending time with Maggie. Finding out I don't need surgery on my leg from my Marine Corps injuries. Working out.

Worst part of the day: My grandmother is dying soon. All of meds have been stopped, catheter removed and IV removed. Now we are just waiting.

Maggie moment: She can count to 4. I kept thinking I was hearing her say 2, 3 so finally I said 1 and she counted up to 4. That seems pretty amazing.

Gratitude: I'm grateful that my grandmother isn't suffering. She's not in pain and hopefully this will be over soon. It's a weird thing to wish but she isn't really here. I hope she will soon be with her husband and parents and friends in Heaven.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

January 5

Going back to work after a long break sucks. I was so freaking tired yesterday I didn't do anything. But that was yesterday and today has been much better. Well sort of.

Best part of today: Seeing Maggie after like 40 hours. My Mom is out of town with my grandma who is in the hospital so I have no childcare. My Dad could watch her but he wanted her to come stay, which is completely understandable but jeez. I missed her so much. When I saw her today it made me so happy.

Worst part of today: Bad news about my GG. Apparently she is barely eating and hadn't peed in over a day (she has a catheter in now). The docs told my mom and uncle that she wouldn't be going to a nursing home and that she won't last more than a few weeks. I'm still hopeful that she'll be fine but I'm starting to think I'm being a little dense about things. I just cannot wrap my mind around this. She was fine at Thanksgiving. How can things have gotten to this point in a month???

Maggie moment: My Dad gave her a bath yesterday but he couldn't find any lotion to put on her. He told me she kept scratching her head so I should put some lotion on it. Turns out putting lotion in dry hair is. . . interesting. Good Lord, her hair is sticking out all over the place. She looks like she touched one of those static electricity ball things.

Gratitude: I'm grateful to my Dad for helping me out with Maggie the last couple of days.

I'm grateful that Mom and uncle have this time to be with my grandmother.

I'm grateful that my baby girl is back home with me.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

January 3

Best part of the day: Celebrating my Dad's 21st AA birthday. Maggie was very excited by the whole thing. And it was fun being around everyone. Plus there was a teeny tiny baby there and I got to hold her. My ovaries still hurt.

Worst part of the day: Honest to God, I can't think of anything.

Maggie moment: At the meeting people go up and talk and introduce all the people celebrating their birthdays and then the celebrants talk. Maggie was noisy throughout. Everyone was really nice about it (I've known everyone for years and they are family to my dad and stepmom).

Also there is an older man there that is really big and has a big white beard. And every time Maggie sees him she says, "Ho, ho, ho." He plays Santa during Christmas so he's not offended or anything. But seriously, how stinking cute is that?

Gratitude: My parents for helping me with Maggie this week. I'm in a tight spot. My Mom (who usually watches Maggie--thank the Lord) is still out of town with my grandma. R is in Arkansas on business. Maggie's spending the night with them tonight and they are at least keeping her tomorrow.

January 2

Best part of the day: Spending all day with my sister, always a nice thing. Seeing family.

Worst part of the day: Seeing my grandmother at her worst; sick, confused, weak.

Maggie moment: Well I only got to see her for about 5 minutes as I was leaving but that was sweet. She was telling me she wanted to eat. Still so cute. I also had fun telling my grandma stories about her.

Gratitude: While we were in the hospital I was reminded of the 2 times I've been in the hospital: once when I was 16 and had an appendectomy and once when I was in the Marine Corps and broke my legs and had to be on bed rest for 6 freaking weeks.

When I got my appendectomy tons of people came and visited but only one person could stay the night with me (and sleep on a ridiculous, tiny couch) and that person was: Elaine.

When I was in the Navy hospital in South Carolina (my entire family is in Texas) only one person came and saw me (the first of any family I had seen in about 5 or 6 months): Elaine.

I am so grateful to my sister who is always, always there for me. I feel like this says it all and is also woefully inadequate at saying how much I love and am truly grateful for my sister.

Elaine, I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you. I love you.