Thursday, March 11, 2010

March 11

Best part of the day: The 1 and 1/2 hours I spent with Maggie at my Mom's house before Open House started at my school. She is so much fun. It's amazing to me how funny and silly and sweet she is now. As she gets older I definitely mourn that she's not a little baby anymore but her sweet little personality more than makes up for the fact she's not so. . . teeny, I guess. I don't know why it's so hard for me to see her getting older. I guess it brings home the fact that she's not mine to keep forever. She's her own person and some day she'll live her own life. But for now she's my little girl and I am so in love with her.

Also, last Saturday, R and I were in the car on our way to Elaine's house for dinner. We had to stop to get wine and he grabbed some sushi to hold him over until dinner. We sat in the car while he ate and kinda chatted. Then, out of the blue, he said, "I love you lady." It wasn't today but it was a nice moment that I want to remember.

Worst part of the day: Um, I don't know. It's been a pretty good day. I wasn't thrilled about having to go back up to work for Open House but it wasn't horrible. I have a big under-the-skin zit that I could certainly do without. And seriously on Open House day? I have to break out today? Come on universe, through me a frickin' bone.

Maggie moment: I fed Maggie dinner at my Mom's house. After she had eaten I let her down and went to get myself dinner. She followed me around the whole time saying, "Eat," and "Hungry." So I got her a little more food and sat her back down. She refused to eat anything of hers and just kept pointing at my food and asking, "Bite?" So stinkin' cute but eat your own food kid.

Gratitude: I say this all the time but it's so true, my daughter. I am so grateful for her. But I always say that so I'll try to come up with something else.

How about my health, the fact that I am pretty comfortable financially, that I have a job, that I have a home, a car, etc., the health and happiness of my partner and daughter, my sister's pregnancy? That's a pretty good list.

Friday, March 5, 2010

March 5

Best part of the day: Sitting with Maggie while she ate dinner. I worked on a puzzle, she worked on her food and we sang songs and made silly noises. It was quite fun. It's funny how hard and stressful and tiring and (sometimes) boring parenting is and yet I look back and feel mostly joy. Not that I'm complaining.

Another really good moment: This morning I way overslept, so I asked R to get up and get Maggie ready. I said, "I'll love you forever," and he said, "You already will," and I said, "No but I will if you help me." He did get up and get Maggie ready. I asked if was going to put her in the car and he said it was too cold (he was still in his manties). Then he asked if I would still love him forever even if he didn't put Maggie in the car. Of course I will.

Worst part of the day: My annoying student. I have one that just drives me batty. He is so immature and when you are 10 and immature it's like having a freaking 4 year old. A whiny, spoiled 4 year old. Some days it's so hard to deal with him. Today was one of those days.

Maggie moment: Oh, watching her walk around the playground. She couldn't quite keep up with the other kids (they were all older). It breaks my heart. I know she's not sad about it and it's just that she's so little. But it just kills me. Watching her try (sorta successfully) to play with two little girls, I thought I was gonna throw up. I know that sounds dramastic but it's all happening so fast and what if she gets bullied or her feelings get hurt or no one wants to play with her. I'm going to cry. Because all those things will happen most likely. It's a vulnerability like nothing I have experienced because no matter what I can't (and probably shouldn't) protect her from it all. Oh, but I want to. I really, really want to.

Gratitude: I know, I know but Maggie. I'm just so grateful for her. I feel like I won the freaking lottery.

That I got more yarn. I finished my last blanket last weekend and every evening I sit down to read blogs and reach for my knitting and there's nothing there. I finally remembered that I need to buy yarn at a time when it's useful to remember that and bought some blue and green yarn. I love knitting.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

March 3

Best part of the day: Taking Maggie to the park. For the first 10 or 15 minutes, she needed to be held while she just looked. I squatted next to her and she stood with her arms around me and I had my arms around her. I know that she won't always need me this much but I love holding her and being her security.

Also she came up to me this evening to "chat" and I just looked at her face and. . . I don't know. I had no idea how much I could love someone. She brings me more joy than I can even explain.

Worst part of the day: Testing. Boo. That was lame. One of my student's mother told him she can't handle him and is sending him to live with his father. This is a third grade kid and his mother is a basket case looney toon. But seriously what a horrid cruel thing to say to your child. Even if it's the truth, how you could you tell your child that?

Maggie moment: All of them. Ha. She's so sweet. It's hard to pick. R and I have been talking to her about the potty and she often walks around saying,"In the potty." While we were at the park she walked up to a mother sitting on the bench and told her,"In the potty." It was pretty funny.

Gratitude: Elaine!!!