Monday, June 21, 2010

June 21, 2010

Remember how I was going to write about my life rules (is that what I called them?) and then stopped. I completely forgot. Whoops. But now I remember so. . .

The days are long but the years are short.

Oh good Lord. The first time I heard this it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is so freaking true. A bad day or really even a good day can seem like an eternity. But you look up and your infant is talking and walking and pretending to talk on her phone. How does that happen?

Being a mom is wonderful. I am happier as a mom than I am at anything else. And I never thought that would be true for me. I honestly didn't think this level of happiness and love existed. I thought it was made up for cheesy novels. And yet I feel it for my daughter.

But the flip side is that parenting can also be monotonous and boring and tedious. Not all the time. But there are times when it so is. I mean think about it: Maggie is not even 2 years old. Everything is completely new to her. So she is quite thrilled to sit and look at a book for an hour. Or a block. And not really an hour. In reality she's running from thing to thing and I am chasing after but she usually doesn't even really notice I'm there because she's doing her own thing that makes sense to her but I'm thinking WTF. But of course then I blink and she's getting her driver's license. You can't save time or get it back. She'll never nurse again. I'll never swaddle her again. She'll never be tiny again. We can only move forward. And every single day takes her further and further away from me. I'm going to cry.

New topic. So I started my first day of the South Beach diet today. So far, it seems easy enough. Nothing too difficult. I felt better today. Although after one day, really what can I say? After the carb/sugar/bad fat/fried crap/sweet crap overload I've been on, anything would have been better. Still I'll try to update regularly to keep track of this whole thing.

I also went to an exercise class that's all strength. Holy freaking crap. My arms were shaking so bad and I purposely got really lite weights for just in case. Thank the Lord cause holy cow the class was hard. But I do feel like I can't wait to go again.

Best part of my day: Cuddling with Maggie. She lays her head on my chest and wraps her arms and legs around me. I talk to her, sing to her, rub her back, stroke her hair. I love it so much. I sniff her and just breathe her in.

Gratitude: Today I'm going to go with family. I love family. I love holidays and get-togethers. I think of books and movies and thinking oh I love family scenes and the idea of families. But really I have that. I love my family.

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