Wednesday, June 23, 2010

June 23, 2010

Day 3 of South Beach Diet

So far, so good. It's really not that hard and the more I think about it, the more I think how easy it would be to stay on this for life. Not Phase 1, just the diet. Instead of walking into a restaurant and thinking, "I need to eat healthy," (which, ha ha ha!, yeah right) you walk in and think, "I need to eat mainly lean protein (where can I not find grilled fish?), veggies and beans. Cheese is ok too. How hard could that be? Of course, I should point out, that I haven't actually been to a restaurant since I started this. But still I feel confident.

I lost 0.6 pounds since yesterday. And I was a little sad about that. Oh, poor me only losing more than half a pound in one day. So sad. Gah! Get a grip.

On that note, I cannot let go of thinking about calories and worrying about eating too much. Why am I such a freak? I've actually stopped eating because I was full at like 3 meals. That's unheard of for me. I never stop until my plate is clean or I'm going to vomit. I'm proud of myself for that but I'm still doing a lot of panicking. Although I guess I should just see how things go. If I continue losing weight at a sensible pace then obviously I'm doing fine. If not, then I can adjust. Emergency solved. What a drama queen.

Best part of the day

I love being so productive. Today I made food for Maggie and I all day. I cleaned the kitchen, my floors (vacuumed and swept the entire living area--foyer, office, kitchen, dining room, sun room, living room, hallway and bar) and my bedroom. I did a load of laundry (washed, dried, folded/hung up). I cleaned the litterboxes and brushed both cats. I spent for-freaking-ever picking out pictures for my new scrapbooks and pictures that I haven't gone through and bought yet (the whole time I had to tell myself, "You are not wasting time, this needs to be done," while I also berated myself for wasting time). I designed and printed covers for 9 scrapbooks AND researched and found some cheap scrapbooks for my project. I dropped off some clothes at the tailor and took Maggie to the science museum.

Wow this list makes me feel like a rock star. Although honestly I need to spend a little less time doing all this stuff and more time with Maggie. I feel like I'm a little too excited about getting everything done and not spending enough time with her. God this parenting gig is tough. You can't win for losing sometimes.

But then again maybe I do. I don't know. I feel like I'm doing something else a lot of the time. You know she's playing by me but I'm also reading or on the computer and that doesn't count. I beat myself up for this more than anything. And I feel like I'm cheating her all the time. I have this time with her and I should be spending the vast majority of it with her, completely focused on whatever we're doing. Why is that so hard?

Also I haven't exercised today so I'm feeling guilty about that. I should be able to take the dog on a walk or walk on the treadmill tonight so maybe I won't have to feel bad about that.

Still all in all, a freaking fantastic day.

Gratitude

I'm grateful for my body and my health. Last Saturday I was in a yoga class and I noticed a man outside the windows working out. He was on crutches. When I looked closer, I could see he only had one leg. And he's still at the gym working out.

I have a healthy body. I have no pain when I work out (no bad pain) other than the occasional twinge from my hips (and that tends to happen when you fracture both of your legs in 3 places). I am able to work out. Imagine having asthma that prevents you from exercise or being paralyzed from the neck down. Or having newborn triplets and can't leave the house. Or having 3 jobs and can't find the time. It's a blessing that any fad workout class or whatever, I can try without worrying I'll hurt myself. I can do anything I want.

And that's a blessing.

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